men are from mars and women are from venus

and other titles have been written to help women understand men and men understand women. several of you have been talking about diferent books and studies and seminars you have done to enhance your marriage. i have read several books and done a few different seminars on marriage. one thing i've learned in our almost ten years of marriage is that we still have a lot to learn. before we got married, i read 3/4 of the book men are from mars, women are from venus. it scared me to death. frankly, i stopped reading it because, if that was the truth, i didn't want to know it. bret and i have weathered through alot in our almost ten years of marriage. we've lived in three different towns, worked with three different churches, lived in 6 different houses, had three children, and edured two bedrests. i've moved in and out of metal stability and he has been a mental rock for all but two episodes in our marriage. one thing i've learned is that intimacy has way more to do with honesty, transparency, and vulnerability than about a particular room in the house. all that said, i want to know what you have learned. whether you have been married five months or fifty years, i want to know what insights you have gained and what resources you have found most useful. what have you learned that has been invaluable to you and your marriage?