i don't know about you, but

i have had one too many conversations that went something like this:

"yeah i visited "xyz" church (specifically speaking about a church of christ) but i left feeling like they really didn't want me there. i wanted to cry when i left because i felt like i wasn't wanted when i visited. i felt judged and like i could never be good enough. like they didn't want me there, they wanted to change me into a mini--me of themselves. like if i didn't do and believe everything just like they believed i was not worthy of salvation. i haven't really been anywhere since."

this is how my first spiritual conversation with my neighbor across the street went this afternoon.

what do you say? i wanted to say, i'm sorry you had that experience. i'm a minister's wife and i feel that way sometimes, too. i think it is sad that in my lifetime i have encouaged more people to go to the local nondenominational church than i ever have invited people to my own denomination. i know at least there, they will learn about God and most likely not be judged or made to feel inadequate or inferior.

i love the Church of Christ. i am not saying i want to leave it for any other--i'm just saying that i don't know what to do with these questions. i can't deny the accusations. yet, i want people to know its not about the church--its about a God who loves us so much and (in my opinion)seeing the church the way it is breaks his heart. he loves all and wants everyone to come to him.

how about you? what do you say when you speak to someone who is not a believer or at least does not want any part of the church because they have been hurt by it in some way or another? i need some advice on how to encourage my neighbor.